Jimmy Choo's And Twinkies
by softhallelujahs
Summary: You like to think he's off in Asia or Europe or Morocco or someplace exotic like that, doing something fabulous. It brings a smile to your face imagining him brooding around Tokyo or having coffee in Paris. Literati, oneshot.


**Ashley's Note:** The idea actually came about when I was watching Will & Grace on Lifetime. The episode Secrets & Lays, originally aired on March 23, 1999. When you read it, it probably won't make any sense as to how I got inspiration. I watch things and get one line in my head for a story, and those lines produce one-shots (albeit **short** one-shots).

It takes place during the fall of 2005, or near the beginning the 6th Season. Or as I like to refer to it as, "The Season We Don't Speak Of."

Thanks to Kara (**potostfbeyeluvr**) for the beta. :) Title, again is for my lack of creativity.

Enjoy.

**--**

You stare out the window as Logan's car speeds along the deserted highway. A party in New York for the _third_ time this week is nothing new to you by now. You've become accustomed to the fake smiles, business deals, champange, salmon puffs, and kisses upon cheeks of people you just met or "friends" you meet through Logan. You're used to the fact that you're a trophy girlfriend being shown off in your fancy cocktail dresses, and dazzling Jimmy Choo's. You're not exactly unhappy, but...

Rain pounds against the concrete road; the main reason you're on your way home. A glamorous party placed strategically on a hotel balcony was ruined by rain that no one had predicted. So the party had ended early and you ran out to the car, angry that your perfect hair was ruined as Logan followed behind you. Soaking wet, he laughed and pulled you into a kiss you hadn't been ready for, smearing your lipstick.

_Ace, you okay? _

Your head pops away from the window in that peppy attitude you have perfected when you're around him. A smile you only use in the society world graces your usually lifeless face as you nod, shifting to find a comfortable posistion in the dampness of your new silk party dress.

_Oh, I'm fine._

But the thing is, you're not fine. And you haven't been for awhile.

You've spent many sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong. When you put yourself on the path to destruction. That path that made you drop out of Yale and move in with your grandparents. The path that made you betray your Mother (who you miss so much it hurts), the _only_ person who had been there for you during everything. You trace it back to a single moment, a single time that you could have changed everything. When you stepped off of that bus, _you let him go_. You let him go without a fight, and for that you kind of hate yourself.

You can't help but wonder _why_ that moment comes to mind. After he was gone, you spent so much time focusing on finals and graduation that you never took the time you needed to properly miss him. Then you were off to Europe trying to forget him. You lost your virginity trying to forget him and you ran off to Europe _again_ because of it.. You looked for comfort elsewhere and ended up in the arms of Dean, and eventually Logan.

Your head drifts to your left where Logan is smiling almost idiotically staring out at the road in front of him. Without realizing it he laced his hand with yours and is holding on for what seems like _dear life_. Maybe he senses it. How far you are from him, and that each day you keep straying father away. Maybe he doesn't want to let you go without a fight, maybe he thinks you're worth fighting for.

Jess was worth fighting for.

You hate that it always comes back to Jess.

No matter where you are or what you're doing, in the back of your mind you always wonder about him. Where he is at that exact moment and if he's happy. Is he in California? New York? Maybe in Seattle working in an old rundown bookstore; keeping up with the local music scene. Or is he farther now, having seen nothing left for him in the States? You like to think he's off in Asia or Europe or Morocco or someplace exotic like that, doing something fabulous. It brings a smile to your face imagining him brooding around Tokyo or having coffee in Paris.

A small part of you wishes he would come back, just once more, and ask you to leave with him again. Because last time you were young and scared and naïve. But now you're older and more mature. This time you would have a different answer for him. And then maybe you could both run off to Thailand and ride elephants to small villages, or sit in Spain and watch the sunset. Hell, you miss him so much, you'd even sit in a Las Vegas casino just to be near him.

When you close your eyes, you see him. Not the man who asked you to run away with him, or the man who told you he loved you and ran. But you see the boy who rented Almost Famous eight times. You see Jess, the same Jess that yahooed Yale's distance from Stars Hollow.

_Twenty-two point eight miles._

You smile.

You always wonder why it never worked. You loved him_ so_ much. You think you were just too different. Or were you too alike? Maybe you were meant to destroy each other--

_Ace, we're here, _You blink rapidly, _Where are you tonight?_

Rain is still pounding against the car and without realizing it, your sitting outside the pool house. Again you smile gracefully and shake your head.

_Sorry, I'm just thinking._

_About?_

_Silly stuff. How do they get the cream inside the twinkie?_

Logan laughs and you breath a sigh of relief. You've avoided the conversation you know he wants to have for another day.

_I love you Ace. You know that, right?_

Without a missing a beat you grin, _I love you too._

He leans forward capturing your lips. You smile and close your eyes. Just like always Jess is there waiting and for a moment,_ just for a moment_, you think it's really him you're kissing.

--

Bleh, what do you think?


End file.
